To my home wrecker , my ex-husband. They say people cheat because they are missing something at home, physical affection , sexual gratification , mental connection / understanding , well what was your excuse? Because even though we had more than 1 handful of children to raise ( your’s from you previous relationship’s and mine from my previous relationship and our’s ) I always found time to be the loving supportive wife and mother to you all , I was exhausted most nights after you would go to work at midday and not come home until your shift ended around 11pm.
Weekdays were filled with our children coming home from school and the normal routines home work , afternoon tea , play time , bath time , dinner time , bed time , then making sure you ate when you came home from work and when you were in the mood satisfying you in bed before sleep. We had good discussions about our life , about how to keep the machine rolling. Weekends while you worked I did the usual drive around picking your kids up Friday, driving them home Sunday, unless it was a long weekend then driving them home Monday. School holidays our kids preferred to be with you and I instead of their other parents , so while you worked I kept them all. Fed , amused , packing them into my car driving them to the local swimming hole or parks or swimming pools in summer , in winter we would all sit down and eat pop corn and watch movies ( well until the older kids became social butterflies and went out with friends while I kept the younger 3 amused ) .
It’s amazing to me , after reading so many stories from women like myself, I have come to realize your selfishness. You were such an up beat guy always looking at the bright side of life, keeping us all positive through the hard times. Well at least you did , until *SHE* came along. Then to hide your disrespect and deception you made sure that every day I spent working hard to raise happy healthy children into well-adjusted adults, that you could hand out my faults to me, accusing me of not loving enough 1 child out of the rest. Not keeping the house immaculate. You didn’t want to make love anymore , it was just sex in your words *To shut me up * , you were tired all of a sudden , 8 and a 1/2 hours of work 5 days a week ( mostly Wednesday through to Sunday , sometimes Monday ) having to put up with the family you created and inherited , you were tired. Life didn’t matter anymore , you could take it or leave it. Over a period of time I became resentful. I had worked so hard for 6 years to make our combined family work and you were just ready to throw it away .
I put it down to stress financially , you were working hard paying for our kids to have good lives within the home , while paying child support to both your ex’s for your older kids while still handing over extra cash to your oldest childs mother because she would waste her child support on her boy friend and their kids. So I gave you some space within our home to breath , taking our kids out when you had days off so you could relax , but when I got that 1st whiff of another woman my patience had run out .
You would talk about her non stop. If you and I had disagreed about things you would come home telling me her suggestions for me being a better , happier , less stressed mother and wife. You would sit on-line and chat to her for hours after work finished sometimes until 4 or 5 am in the morning , then go to work at 6am and spend all day with her because your shift times had been changed. Everything I did was discussed with this wretched female who was having sex with not 1 , not 2 but 3 different men at your work and you were ok sharing her while pushing me aside. Are you for real?
You destroyed me , emotionally dragging me down , making me out to be psychotic , insecure , crazy , you even took me to the dr and told him I was depressed , claiming I was obviously still suffering some after effects of post natal depression from the birth of our child who was now 5 years old , seriously ? The doctor didn’t believe you and refused to medicate me saying there was something deeper than that. Honestly how could I have been so blind . You took away from our children a happy , stable , supportive , caring , loving mother and turned me into a spiteful , distrusting , insecure , nightmare , screaming banshee. The happy-go-lucky , stable children turned evil and disrespectful , breaking rules , causing arguments , running away from home for hours on end to days on end because YOU had shut us all out. I was a single mum all of a sudden , raising all these kids , crying alone at night and sometimes during the day. I lost friends because I became a miserable , whiny old bag that never could see the happiness or bright side of our family or life outside the home .
YOU my dear darling ex – husband , deprived us all of a normal happy life. We didn’t care about money , we didn’t care about expensive holidays away , we loved when we would all go camping 45 minutes away from home , fishing , swimming , telling crazy stories , laughing , hugging and most importantly ex-husband , being able to openly , freely , stably , tell each other *I Love You *. YOU and your career homewrecking s***k , stole that from us , our kids have never forgiven either you or myself for the confusing nightmare you started , because in their eyes , I should have been able to fix it. I should have been able to bring you back emotionally to them. Why?
Because it was YOU who told them I had always been the 1 true love of your life. When ever life gave you the chance it was ME you sought out , and finally when we managed to come together as 1 , you were never letting go of your only true love ever again. Do you remember telling them that ? Time and time and time again for over 4 years ? No I doubt you do. You destroyed our kids, you destroyed me all for a low life two-faced back stabbing s***k who you’re not even with now. But still, we live with the pain and memory of her everyday. Her life went on. No karma bus for her, no , no , no , its our kids and I who suffer while trying to move on with our lives .
So thank you darling , for proving the theorists wrong on their statement “you have to be missing something at home to look elsewhere for it”. Maybe one day you will own up to it fully, not just partially. . . but I wont hold my breath.