To my Ex-husband:
It’s been almost four years since you asked me for a divorce. It also happened to be our anniversary, which you forgot. I shouldn’t really have been surprised since two days prior my best friend had to remind you that it was my birthday.You left me for a younger, prettier woman. I use the term woman loosely as in reality she was a girl. Eight years my junior and to borrow the term, a “cool girl.” I was so stupid that it was only after the divorce was final that I found out about her. Without sounding clichéd, but did you really have to pick her; my friend? A girl I mentored through her career and even allowed to live with us when she had nowhere else to turn? Funny how she didn’t last long. Did you really think a relationship based on deceit would?
We had some good times. I won’t negate those, but now that it’s over I realize all of the bad times. And so I want to thank you. Yes, thank you. I want to thank you for the lessons you’ve taught me. Number one, lust isn’t love. I really thought I knew that, but it seems I managed to equate my attraction to you with love. I look back and realize the man I loved didn’t exist, except in my head. You never changed. You were consistently unaffectionate and inattentive. Number two, I’m better without you. I’ve not only survived, but I’ve thrived on my own. My career is better than ever, my health is great and my mind has found a peace I never knew with you. Number three, humility is a virtue. Now this lesson involved you and others. After years of you telling me how unattractive I’d become, I was ashamed to be seen in public. I am now with a man who my friends drool over (they never drooled over you). He’s utterly stunning. And he tells me all the time how beautiful I am. It took your insults for me to truly appreciate the compliments. When I blush, he knows I’m being genuinely humble and he loves that about me. You made me humble and for that I thank you. Number four, I deserve better. I am not perfect. I’m never going to be a supermodel or win a Nobel prize, but I deserve love. I deserve to be loved with the same intensity that I love. I have my moments when I sparkle and shine. I deserve a man who recognizes when I’m shining and is proud of my accomplishments, not one who is unmanned by them.
You taught me so many lessons. More than I can list. But most of all I want to thank you for leaving me. That pain made me who I am today, and I am a woman someone loves. Thank you for leaving me, so I could find myself in the arms of who I was meant to be with. You were a diversion in my journey to where I really belong. Thank you for being someone I used to know. And never will again.