Finding Joy. . .My Weight Loss Journey. . .

I have been overweight for 10 years now.  My weight has fluctuated from 130-230.  I wish I could say it was due to having my youngest son, but the truth is, when I delivered him, I was 170 and I think I came home from the hospital at around 160.  I didn’t gain a ton of weight while pregnant.  Here is me 10 years ago. . .  130lbs-136lbs.  These are the photos he looks at. . .  I miss her.  Back during this time, I thought I was a fat whale. . .

  jeff

This one was for Jeff’s eyes only but. . .

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Jeff&Joy

In my 20’s and early 30’s I was a strict Vegetarian.  I exercised at least 5 days a week for 2 hours a day.  I have battled with Bulimia for over 20 years.  I stopped throwing up regularly at 29, but stopped throwing up entirely at 35.  What most people don’t understand about Bulimia is bulimics do not “lose weight” from throwing up, they maintain their weight.  When I was younger,  I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder.  The medical definition of Body Dysmorphic Disorder is “a psychological disorder in which a person becomes obsessed with imaginary defects in their appearance.”  Basically, you can’t really see what you look like when you look into a mirror.  When I was thin, I thought I was fat, and when I got fat, I honestly believe I had no idea as to how fat I became.

As most of you know, my ex was a serial cheater.  He cheated constantly and I believe this played a huge role in my weight gain.  I was depressed because I was with a man, and had a child with a man who had no regard for my feelings.  I was miserable for such a long time and regretted Continue reading “Finding Joy. . .My Weight Loss Journey. . .”