Please Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself. . .

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I finally feel so free. I can’t explain the new found feeling of just feeling free. Not only am I free, but I am finally happy. Those who followed me during SAHW probably know more about my story. I have led a crazy life, filled with drama, love, heartbreak, betrayal and sadness. I feel like so much has happened in such a short period of time. In the past year, my life has changed drastically. But I can finally say I am happy. I have found peace and an extreme calmness has come over me. . .

I have shared my life with many of you over the years. This hasn’t always been easy. I didn’t handle the fame of SAHW well and opted against sharing Jeff. I couldn’t deal with the negativity I was already receiving and adding him into the equation would’ve been catastrophic for me at that time. However, I am in a different place and I just don’t care anymore. . . I am ready to share him, I am not ashamed of where he is or our current situation. I have loved him for what seems like a lifetime.

Most of you have followed “Ariella” for many years, through my original blog where I shared very personal details of my life, the SAHW website, or this blog. Ariella was my escape, my alter ego, my online alias. Ariella has died, I am burying her, she is being put to rest.

When I chose to share 26 years on my blog, it felt uncomfortable for me to share this under Ariella’s Ramblings. 26 Years was not a story of Ariella & Jeff, 26 years is the story of Joy & Jeff.

I appreciate all of the support I have received and I look forward to sharing my journey with you!

Thank you Ladies!

Joy

 

 

Irreversibly Broken. . .

Nights are the hardest.  I find myself consumed with thoughts of “what if”.  What if he just could have been a normal person?  What if he just could have been faithful?  What if he just wanted me and only me? What would our life have been like without all the “outside interference’s”?  Could we have been happy, would we still be together?  I would like to think the answer is yes, but. . .I don’t know. . .I am tired of the what if game, I played this game before for a very long time and it destroyed me.

Thinking of all the “what ifs” is toxic.  It is detrimental to moving on and healing.  It makes everything difficult.  I find myself consumed with thoughts.  When I am busy, I don’t think as much but at night when my day has come to an end, I sit and think. . .I can’t stop my mind from wandering.  I torture myself Continue reading “Irreversibly Broken. . .”