His Book Devastated Me. . .

For those of you who have followed my journey with Jeff, you probably remember me speaking of the book he wrote; “From Handguns to Paintbrushes”  On our first visit, he sent the book home with me.  It was a book he had written in black and white marble notebooks.  I don’t know why I questioned his ability to write a book, but I did.  I didn’t think he would be able to do it, but he did it.

The day after our visit I was in my office and the phones were slow so I decided to start reading his book.  I knew it was a story about his life, but I was in no way prepared for what I was about to read.  We had discussed me reading it, typing it in manuscript format and then trying to find a publisher who would publish it.  I figured it would be best to read the book first, and then type it.  After an hour of reading, I left my office angry and devastated.  At this time the jail went on lock down and I was unable to speak with him.  Once I arrived home I spent hours reading until I was finished.  Do you know the feeling you get when you find out your husband/boyfriend is cheating on you?  This was the feeling.  I was so angry with him, wondering how he would even for 5 minutes put this book in my hands.  In his eyes, was this payback for what I put him through?  I couldn’t deal with it and not being able to speak with him set me off into a rage.  I wrote him a VERY detailed letter in an attempt to hurt him and without thinking, sent it overnight.  Once I calmed down, I realized there was no way he Continue reading “His Book Devastated Me. . .”