I hardly slept the night before. All I could do was think of Joy. Ten years had passed since I last saw her and the truth of what had happened was harder to deal with than anything else, but this visit would either wash away the past or kill our future. I knew I loved her but would our love be enough this time? I needed to see her to know if my memories of how she used to make me feel were real or what I wanted to remember.
In the morning I was trying to get ready and focus my mind. She had kept telling me she got old and fat, but with her it has always been hard to tell what is fact and what is her imagination. She has always had a distorted body image and she had battled with a horrible eating disorder for many years. I love her so much, but I was ready for anything. I needed her to feel beautiful no matter what the situation was. She kept telling me no matter what I did she would think I thought she was fat and old. This was a lot of pressure because I love this woman, and I didn’t want to cause her any pain.
The visits start at 9am and when I last talked to her, she was driving to NY the night before. When I woke up there was snow on the ground and it was coming down hard. Joy told me the hotel she was going to stay at was 11 miles away. I figured her SUV would make it, I was just hoping she wasn’t catching cold feet. I was showered and ready, but time felt like it was at a stand still. When 10 am rolled around I heard the officer’s jingling keys downstairs and I was about to beg him for an emergency call when he called up to me; “Deleyer, on the visit”. My nerves washed away and I was overjoyed. It was finally time to see my princess. I had packed up a few things I was planning on sending home with her. I had 3 paintings, 3 marble notebooks that contained my book and a little purple bear I had a guy in here make for her. I grabbed my bag and was on my way.
I walked into the visiting room and I saw her right away. Yes, she had put on some weight but Continue reading “My Visit With My Princess. . .”