10 Years Lost. . .My Visit With Jeff

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I was supposed to go and see Jeff next Tuesday, the 7th.  I had everything scheduled and set to go, but I woke up yesterday morning and something inside of me said you need to go now.  I don’t know why, but I felt as though I had to go. I spent my day yesterday running around doing everything I needed to do in order to leave. I arrived home, packed my suitcase, settled the kids and left around 8:30pm.

I speak with Jeff twice a day.  Yesterday morning he called and I told him I was coming.  Oh my goodness, he was beyond excited!  Of course, I was nervous.  I am not the same woman I once was, I am 65lbs bigger.  We haven’t seen each other in 10 years, and I abandoned him without so much as a word.  I was nervous, afraid of him seeing me, what it could do to him.  I thought it may have the reverse effect on him, maybe it would trigger him.  I don’t know. The thought of this had my stomach in knots.

I arrived in Corning NY at 2am.  I was beyond exhausted.  I checked into the hotel and fell asleep almost immediately.  I woke up around 7 am and started to get ready, and checked out of the hotel about 90 minutes later.  It was snowing outside and just nasty and windy.  I packed my suitcase and drove off. I stopped at a Target on the way to grab an umbrella and made my way to the prison.  Once I arrived I had this sinking feeling. I can’t explain to you how entering a prison makes you feel.  I have always hated this.  I hate everything about prison.  Most of the correctional officers have a nasty attitude and attempt to talk down to you, it just isn’t a pleasant experience.

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I had never been to this prison before. Jeff has now been in every single Maximum Security Prison in the state of NY, some of them twice.  But Elmira Correctional Facility Continue reading “10 Years Lost. . .My Visit With Jeff”