I hardly slept the night before. All I could do was think of Joy. Ten years had passed since I last saw her and the truth of what had happened was harder to deal with than anything else, but this visit would either wash away the past or kill our future. I knew I loved her but would our love be enough this time? I needed to see her to know if my memories of how she used to make me feel were real or what I wanted to remember.
In the morning I was trying to get ready and focus my mind. She had kept telling me she got old and fat, but with her it has always been hard to tell what is fact and what is her imagination. She has always had a distorted body image and she had battled with a horrible eating disorder for many years. I love her so much, but I was ready for anything. I needed her to feel beautiful no matter what the situation was. She kept telling me no matter what I did she would think I thought she was fat and old. This was a lot of pressure because I love this woman, and I didn’t want to cause her any pain.
The visits start at 9am and when I last talked to her, she was driving to NY the night before. When I woke up there was snow on the ground and it was coming down hard. Joy told me the hotel she was going to stay at was 11 miles away. I figured her SUV would make it, I was just hoping she wasn’t catching cold feet. I was showered and ready, but time felt like it was at a stand still. When 10 am rolled around I heard the officer’s jingling keys downstairs and I was about to beg him for an emergency call when he called up to me; “Deleyer, on the visit”. My nerves washed away and I was overjoyed. It was finally time to see my princess. I had packed up a few things I was planning on sending home with her. I had 3 paintings, 3 marble notebooks that contained my book and a little purple bear I had a guy in here make for her. I grabbed my bag and was on my way.
I walked into the visiting room and I saw her right away. Yes, she had put on some weight but she was still so breathtaking. I checked in with the officer and made my way to the table. I just looked at her and pulled her into my arms and we kissed. When I kissed her it felt like it always had. I can’t explain it like a warm feeling and flashes through my body or something like that. I had never felt this way with any other woman before, but with her it was always different. I always felt funny and warm. When I sat down I just couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was absolutely beautiful.
Of course, she is a crazy girl and she and kept drilling me, “Am I fatter than you imagined, or smaller, how old do you think I look, do you think I am super fat, how much weight do you think I need to lose etc.” My princess, she is always so ridiculous. She told me she could see the pain in my eyes and she said she was so sorry for hurting me. We talked about so many things that we needed to discuss face to face. And it was still there, we still had this amazing connection when we looked into each others eyes.
As usual, I was trying to be a little “fresh” but Joy fought me off and killed my moves before I could even try them. But this never deterred me before and I wasn’t about to let it slow me down now. Some things never change. I was so happy, I was on cloud nine all day and I was just happy to be with the woman I love. I had spent ten rough years without her in my life because I was a young man back then and I left a lot of my true feelings unsaid. I will never let this happen again. When she left it was very difficult. I didn’t want her to leave.
As I sit here and write this I am still riding the same cloud because I know our love is real and neither her nor I will ever let anything come between us again. I am a hard man who has lived a cold life but she is my everything. She is all that is good in my life. I would like to thank each and every one of you ladies for all of your positive feedback on our story. Each and every one of you ladies needs to believe in love, because true love really exists.