First I want to say that I am not expecting you to care or even begin to grasp what I have to say in this letter. The one question that keeps haunting me is how could YOU do this to me and my girls? I realize there isn’t a good enough answer, the fact is YOU did it.
Some people might say R & I set up the perfect storm by trusting YOU both. However, I will not accept that. There is something wrong with YOUR characters if opportunity controls YOUR loyalty.
YOU knew how much I loved him and what I went through for him and with him. He wasn’t YOURS to take, but I am also aware YOU couldn’t take what he wasn’t willing to give away. Instead of him looking inside himself he took the route that was clearly EASY & CONVENIENT!
He may have thought that he started the affair, but YOU gave him a reason to feel safe enough to do so.
YOU were my childhood friend, my best friend & YOU threw away years of friendship & memories as if I never mattered at all. YOU used what YOU knew about my marriage against me to satisfy YOUR own selfish wants NOT needs. YOU played a part in robbing me and my girls of what was ours.
I keep remembering all the times YOU were in our home, scrap-booking and birthday parties. Then there’s camping, vacations, day trips & family dinners that YOU were a part of. Those were my memories & our girls memories and YOU helped taint those memories & our home. B was right. YOU were/are jealous of me. YOU are disgusting & white trash.
Little J will always remember the day her daddy left. YOU helped to make that a part of her childhood memories. YOU haven’t had to watch or hear J cry for her dad. Or see how she runs and hides in her toy box crying and closes the lid because she wants him to come home. It’s heartbreaking and YOU helped to break her heart because YOU are selfish and I will never forgive YOU for that.
There are still days I can’t breathe. My baby died, my husband left, I lost my family & my dreams of being a mom again and I was betrayed by my childhood best friend. The magnitude of all my losses combined with the betrayal, abandonment & humiliation almost killed me. I was in crisis and where were you? Oh, I know f***ing my husband and planning a life with him and laughing behind my back. YOU are truly sick.
I hear YOU are in therapy now. YOU know it only works if YOU are honest. I also hear YOU are on medication so YOU don’t want to have sex now…lol YOU said the same thing 3 yrs. ago, but YOU had no problem having sex with my husband, just YOUR own.
As for going to therapy be sure YOU tell them how YOU betrayed your childhood best friend, by having an ongoing affair for years while keeping me close so YOU could be close to him and while I was pregnant! And tell them how all along YOU were planning on having a baby with him. Which is funny because YOU always said, what a crappy dad he was & how horrible he was to big J & how he will eventually kick little J to the curb too.
Be sure to tell them how YOU were even planning to go with us on another family vacation and be sure YOU tell them how YOU continued to lie even though I confronted YOU multiple times because that is what YOU got off on. Be sure to tell them how YOU came into my home & had sex with him & then came & got into bed with me & my daughter. Be sure to tell them how YOU invited me to see your new apartment where YOU had, had sex with him & spent the weekend with him and be sure YOU tell them YOU were cheating on him with your husband all along.
It takes a certain level of disconnection to be able to pretend to be someones best friend and hide so many secrets for so long.
I cried every day for over a year. I watched my baby die. Do you have any idea how that felt?!?! When I lost Mason, YOU were the first one I had him call. Even before my mom! It sickens me to know YOU were relieved our baby died and that YOU actually said, “It was my fault.” That thought alone makes me want to snap your neck. If he chooses to believe YOU weren’t relieved that his son died or the girls little brother and he buys into your bull and lies then that is on him, but YOU know the truth. . .so do I and so does God!
YOU had your OWN family. Perfect or not they were yours and they loved YOU and YOU hurt them and betrayed them as well.
YOU both should have put the time & effort into your own families that YOU put into hiding your affair, but we weren’t worth it.
YOU are truly broken and a disconnected human being. I knew something wasn’t right with you, but I just thought you were depressed after loosing your parents, so I kept giving YOU passes on your changing attitude and demeanor. I felt horrible for YOU. As true friend would.
Neither one of YOU protected me & karma will eventually get YOU. When YOU lose everything YOU worked for, when the people YOU loved & trusted betray YOU & cut YOU off and never look back, when YOU feel pain throughout your entire body that is paralyzing and every second of every day goes by in slow motion remember one thing, YOU deserve it!
I will NEVER condone your relationship. I will make it hell for YOU that I promise.
J & J both want nothing to do with YOU. YOU helped break up their family. The only family they will EVER want. YOU are a liar in their eyes and most of all YOU hurt me.
No matter how YOU spin it or justify it. No matter how much Disney stuff he gives YOU, no matter if he gave YOU a kitten like he did for me, what YOU chose to do was beyond wrong and disgusting and no matter how hard YOU try YOU will never be me!